just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
