He is an equal opportunity slut.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize