Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
