I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
