i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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