What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize