you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
