yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
