everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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