dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
