We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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