almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
How external is "for external use only"?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
