You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
