Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
