I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
