Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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