she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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