I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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