sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
