And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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