i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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