last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
