is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
