just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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