I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
