Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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