How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
