Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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