The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
