I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize