Fuck appropriateness.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
