Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
