Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
