I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
