We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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