On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
