Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
