I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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