I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wanna go halves on a baby?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
