the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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