good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
