We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Too much gin, very little bucket
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have post one night stand depression
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