can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
