lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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