last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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