obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
