Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
