Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
