I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
