worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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