dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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