Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
