I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
