I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
