You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
