I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
