I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
