You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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