I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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