The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Alive.
So much puke
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
