yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
