Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
