For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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