you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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